Month from hell
by Adiver
Summary: James is having a month from hell. No really. Everything is going wrong. A bit of maximum ride and Twilight come in at the end. Follow on from when maximum ride comes to cherub written with help from a friend. Yes, I do like making James look bad.
1. Soap, Homework and Paint

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story but my friend (Georgina) does own some of the plot and yes, I do like making James look bad.**

1.

James ran into his room, screaming and flopped face down on the bed.

"Aaargh!" he shrieked into the pillow. "Could this day get any worse?"

"JAMES!!!" screamed Lauren as she burst into his room, armed with a bottle of washing-up liquid.

"What?" James moaned blearily.

"You. Put. Bethany's. Pants. And. Bra. On. The. Fountain!" she followed each word with a whack from the washing up bottle.

"Oh. That. Well... I was meaning to talk to you 'bout that." He grinned.

WHACK! The washing liquid bottle exploded over James' head. Green gunk dribbled down his face as he stood, gasping. Before James could counter Kyle Blueman walked into the room. As soon as he saw James he cracked up laughing.

"Sweet, Lauren! You finally got him clean for once?" he grinned, as he took out his camera phone and started snapping away. More Kids came in and started laughing.

"Nice one Lauren!"

"I don't think he's clean enough yet!"

"Yeh. His perverted brain ain't clean!"

"Got any more liquid Lauren?"

"Hmm" Lauren smirked, as she poured the rest of the bottle on James' head and triumphantly stalked out, leaving James in a green and gloopy heap on the floor.

James stood in the hot, steamy shower and ran his hands through his longish blond, sticky hair. That washing up liquid got everywhere! His sheets were all gloopy and his duvet had been on top of them! He had just managed to catch the liquid before it soaked into his mattress. The washing up liquid stank too. He had showered TWICE and still couldn't get the smell off his body or the soap out of his hair. Life stank-literally. He bunched his sheets up and chucked them into the corner of his room. He inconspicuously sniffed his armpit. Great - lavender. That was going to really help with the girls. He used LOTS of deodorant and hoped it would cover up the smell….

He rushed into the maths classroom 25 minutes late.

"Sorry Mrs Brennan, I, err, woke up late!"

He hurried into his seat as his classmates, 16 and 17 year olds, began to grin and snigger.

"Hey soapy!"

"Nice girly smell Jamiekins!"

"Hey James! Clean yet?"

"Hey, anyone smell that lovely lavender soap?"

"Whatever." James muttered, trying to ignore the sniggers and whispers.

"Now class, back to this equation…" said Mrs Brennan.

Five minutes before the lesson was due to end Mrs Brennan moved around the desks to collect the homework. Damn! Thought James. His homework was under that big pile of stuff on his desk - unfinished. He was dead meat. Especially as this was his fifth unfinished homework for Mrs Brennan.

"James? Where is your homework?"

"Ummm…"

"DETENTION!"

Brilliant! Sighed James.

James was in Zara's office, slumped in one of her stylish chairs.

"It wasn't me miss!" exclaimed James.

Zara tossed a picture of a statue in a fountain dressed in Bethany's bra and pants. James was standing by the fountain grinning with his thumbs up. Zara coughed.

"No?" she said.

"Well…." Said James, knowing he was getting nowhere. Zara glared at him. "Maybe I had something to do with it."

Zara sighed. "James. You are one of our senior agents. I expect more from you. You know that. So stop playing these stupid practical jokes and do your homework!"

James knew this was a major pep talk. "Yes miss." He groaned. Zara slammed her palms down on the table, making him jump.

"DON'T YES MISS ME JAMES ADAMS!" She yelled. Ooops! Thought James.

"I was trying to make you feel better." Zara said, "Right, I want you to have all your homework up to date by next month and I am putting you on decorating duty for 20 hours."

James gaped. Brilliant. His life was now officially hell.

James stepped out onto the ladder. It was cold and it was drizzling. His baggy painting overalls were thin. He shivered and started painting.

Why was it his life that was always so bad? How come Kerry or Lauren never got in trouble? Okay. He did his fair share of practical jokes and he didn't always hand in his homework. He was just bad at not getting caught. This day was just getting worse, he thought, as he heard thunder in the distance. He looked at his watch. Only fifteen more hours of painting to go. Yippee! Oh yeh, don't forget the meter tall pile of homework to do or the laundry or the… Life was not fair.

James sighed and in his frustration he kicked his tin of paint. It fell and hit one of the painting supervisors on the head.

Great.


	2. Nothing, detention and a Blonde

**I am sooo sorry about the slowness of this story. I am co-writing it with a friend outside of school so we hardly ever see each other. When we do I promise we will try to write another chapter. Disclaimer: I don't own any of Cherub or Twilight (damn it!)**

2.

James sat in detention and watched the hand on the clock slowly tick by. Was it just his imagination, or was the clock going slower than usual? He stared down at his almost empty sheet of paper. Then he looked up at the clock. It hadn't moved at all.

Why was he the one who always got in trouble? It just wasn't fair. He felt Kerry's annoying voice in his head, "Life's not fair James. Do your homework and you'll be fine." He sighed. Why was Kerry always right?

He was meant to be writing a geography essay on Global Warming. It was meant to be two sides of A4 but so far he hadn't written anything apart from his name and the title.

He glanced up at the clock again. CRAP! He thought. He only had ten minutes left of detention – ten minutes to write two sides of A4.

A few days ago, his life had been almost perfect. He had been on a stunning date with Kerry, Mrs Brennan had offered to pay him to tutor some older students, and he was on top of almost all his homework.

But now, he had even more decorating duty, loads of homework, and a very very angry painting supervisor, who just happened to be one of the strictest staff on campus. At least he still had Kerry – if that was any consolation.

The bell rang and the teacher started to collect all the work. Damn, James thought. That was another angry teacher.

The detention supervisor slunk quickly between the desks, collecting papers, and soon arrived in front of James.

"James."

"Yeeeeeeeees?"

"Where is your essay?"

"Um………"

"Well, it seems like detention hasn't made a lasting impression, so I will see you next Friday again for another detention. You need to start having a better attitude to work, James. You'll be the one suffering in the end."

James slunk out of the classroom, even more dejected. Now he had another detention, and he hated the way everyone sounded like Kerry – 'Do your homework', 'You need to learn to work hard', 'It's your fault'…………Why was everyone so right, and he was always so wrong?

He slammed his tray down angrily on the table in the cafeteria. Everyone on the table looked up.

"Something wrong, Jamiekins?" asked Kyle.

"I've got ANOTHER detention," moaned James.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, poor baby," said Kerry sarcastically. "What did you do this time?"

"Nothing!" James replied.

"Huh? Then why did you get another detention?" Bruce asked.

"'Cos…'cos I was supposed to be doing something…..but I kind of…..didn't write anything…" James mumbled sheepishly.

A gang of Lauren's friends entered the cafeteria, with Lauren and Bethany in front. James groaned. Lauren's friends were still teasing him about the soap incident.

"Hey soapy!"

"What's it feel like to be clean at last, Jamiekins?"

"Hey…can anyone smell that lovely lavender smell?"

"Shut up Lauren!" he moaned.

Lauren rolled her eyes and laughed. "Will I ever shut up?" she asked nonchalantly.

"No." scowled James between gritted teeth.

He just tucking into his pasta when he felt the mood in the room change. General babble turned to awed murmurs as five stunningly beautiful teenagers walked into the room. Their movements were fluid and graceful. Their eyes flashed confidently. Best of all, three of them were girls!

The tall girl in front had longish, pale blond hair, (and a really nice body, thought James appreciatively) and was indisputably the most beautiful girl that James had ever seen……his dream girl, in fact.

The girl behind her was short, looked a bit like an elf or a pixie, and had short, black, messy hair, but was probably second in James' list of gorgeous girls.

The boys didn't do much for James, but Kerry's eyes were avidly boring into the one behind pixie-girl, who had bronze, tousled hair. One of the others was tall and muscled, with brown curly hair, and the other one was honey blond and seemed very calm.

James was oblivious to the chat and whispers around him. The blonde girl and her friends were making their way towards HIS table! He was blessed! He couldn't take his eyes off her stunning beauty.

"Hi, I'm Rosalie, this is Edward (She indicated the bronze-haired one), Jasper (the calm blonde one), Emmett (the muscly one), and Alice (the pixie-like one)." She smiled at James, who was hyperventilating. "We're new to Cherub. May we sit here?"

Unfortunately James was grinning like an idiot and his brain was scrambled by Rosalie's beautiful face opposite him.

"Uh……."

"Yeah, course you can!" Lauren butted in. "You'll have to forgive my brother. He's slightly mentally retarded."

"Oi!" groaned James, still staring at Rosalie until Kerry elbowed him in the ribs.

Kerry stood up and introduced everyone round the table. Most people were staring gobsmacked at the group, mostly at their opposite sex. Kerry was eyeballing Edward, Bruce was staring at Alice, Kyle couldn't take his eyes off Emmett, and Gabrielle seemed to like the look of Jasper. And James of course couldn't look away from his blonde-haired angel.

**Sorry about the bad cliffhanger. It may be some time until it is resolved. YOu may be thinking that James' month isn't looking so bad after all but trust me worse is coming!**

**BYe :) from georgie n april**


	3. Boyfriends, Girlfriends and Broken Noses

"Don't you DARE run away from me, James Adams! When I catch up with you your life is gonna be HELL, you cheating bast-" Kerry stopped mid-word as she ran into Rosalie. She was currently chasing James round the sixth floor. "Oh! Um, hello Rosalie!"

"Hey, what's the emergency?" Rosalie smiled, flashing her perfect teeth.

"Oh, um, I need to have a _little friendly chat_ with James." Kerry growled.

Rosalie laughed wryly. "A little friendly chat, eh? Well then, I'll leave you to it. Oh, by the way, is he, like, a stalker? 'Cause he was acting a bit weird in the cafeteria, if you get my drift. See you around!"

Kerry looked around the corridor. James had vanished. She swore under her breath and began to run up the stairs to the eighth floor.

Meanwhile, two floors up, James had reached Lauren's room. He knocked frantically.

"What?" Lauren opened the door. "What do you want this time?"

"Please, you have to let me in. Kerry's gonna kill me. Pleeeeeaaaaase…." James grovelled. He was still on shaky terms with Lauren after the pants-and-bra-on-fountain incident.

"Huh! Kerry's my friend too, you know." She slammed the door in his face.

James groaned. He could hear Kerry coming up the stairs, shouting, "Just you wait, you lying, cheating scumbag!"

"Next time try not to make it so obvious that you're flirting," Kerry sniffed.

"Hey," James protested. "It's not my fault. Emmett's a psycho."

"Well then, whose fault is it?" Kerry scowled.

She finally cornered him in the corner of the landing, giving him two powerful punches in the shoulder.

"We are over, you **********! Do you hear me? Over!"

(James decided not to mention that the surgical removal of both his and the rest of the eighth floor's ears would have been necessary for them not to hear her.)

Kerry burst into tears just as everyone on the eighth floor poked their head's out of their doors.

"I hate you James!" she flounced. She slapped him, hard and stormed off down the corridor.

James stared and watched her disappear towards the lifts. He turned and saw everyone staring at him.

"What?" he asked.

Most of them shrugged or muttered 'asshole' before shutting their doors.

James groaned. None of this was his fault! He slumped on his bed and began to recall the evening before……

_Rosalie sat opposite James. James tried not to be obvious as he stared at her breathtaking beauty. _

"_Heyyyyy, I'm Jamiekins- um, James." Oh, great. Her beauty was scrambling his brains now. Worse, his voice sounded squeaky and nervous._

"_Hi, James. I hope you'll help us settle in here at Cherub." She flashed him a dazzling smile._

"_Yeah, I'd _love_ to help you chettle in at Serub…uh, settle in at Cherub." Now he was making a complete idiot of himself. He attempted a friendly smile at his blonde angel, but it came out more like a grimace._

_Gabrielle butted in. "Hey Rosalie, I just love your outfit. Are they designer jeans?" _

_James groaned. The girls descended into a girly chat about makeup, clothes and boys. This was not going well._

"_Hey, James, isn't it?" The big muscly one, Emmett, said. He clapped James on the back, making him wince. Hell, he was strong. And hard, like rock. James felt puny and plain beside these godlike creatures. _

_Ah well, he figured. He had to get lucky some day. He turned to Rosalie._

"_Hey babe, haven't I seen you somewhere before?" he attempted._

_Emmett put a protective arm around Rosalie. "Yeah, that's why she doesn't go there any more."_

_The others could feel the testosterone building and decided to lighten the tension by laughing at James._

_James tried again._

"_Do you have a map? 'Cause I'm lost in your eyes, babe."_

_Emmett tightened his arm around Rosalie and glared at James. God, he was scary. Emmett wasn't the only one glaring at James, though. Kerry didn't look too pleased at his futile attempts to charm Rosalie._

_The blond one, Jasper, tried to calm the others down, but Emmett still looked annoyed at James – unsurprisingly._

_They finished dinner quickly and headed up to their rooms. The five newcomers had been allocated rooms on the sixth floor, so they all rode in the lift together. James was last out of the lift, behind Rosalie. As she turned towards him he placed a hand on her thigh and tried one last chat-up line._

"_Are your legs hurting? 'Cause you've been running through my mind all evening – and oh yeah, I could always massage them better……" He smiled hopefully._

_Rosalie's glare could have melted a steel bar. So could Emmett's. And Kerry's. _

_James had to have one last try. He gathered up enough courage to quickly put his arm around Rosalie and kiss her on the lips. _

_Bad move._

_Emmett cracked his knuckles. "Right. That does it." He stepped towards James. _

"_Hey, how about we sort this out a different way?" Kyle tried to make peace. "How about you fight it out in the dojo?" _

_James grinned. With his advanced combat skills he was confident that he could beat Emmett. "All right. Now?"_

_Emmett's smile was even wider. "Bring it on, sucker." He flexed his enormous muscles._

_Ten minutes later, James limped out of the dojo with a dislocated shoulder, a broken nose, and several cuts and bruises all over. Lesson learnt: never mess with Emmett's girlfriend._


End file.
